I reflect myself a lot with your thread. I feel attracted in what communication regards to pretty much the same as you.
The extreme for me is when someone who needs to socialise or putting his things out there rushes into you without knowing you and in this first conversation they tell you what was and goes on their lives.
I guess they must be feel alone, or maybe they are very extrovert or even it’s possible that my politeness gives them the impression that I’m interested at hearing a whole monologue about them.
Maybe if they were a little more focused on what’s going on outside them, they will also notice the screams of my body language.

My impression is that small talk is something only “necessary” as a minor evil to give chance to deeper or funnier conversations. In my case, I don’t find it only boring but I lack of skills to force myself to do it because of my social anxiety.

Finally, in regards to how having a more objective opinion or share the same view about a particular matter with someone, without implying that you share with them a whole political corpus, and how you are quickly classified as belonging to a particular type or group of people as soon as you open your mouth to express an opinion, I think it has to be with our gems even. We have so far a need to share with a group of people the same ideas, customs, tradition, ideas... not only as opposed to another group but as a way to feel accepted within your own group. So, everything it would be better for your survival.
We are attached to our convictions, cultural traditions, our prejudices because it’s what we have and having to change them, fills us with fear because maybe, we are not gonna be accepted by our social group so, our survival will depend on it.

Sorry, but when someone touches an interesting topic, I can’t avoid some kind of excitement and I write too much.