Do you think part of this needing to know if there was abuse or not could just be your fear that RS and you wont make it???

Your husband made such dreadful choices in his life, No one forced him to take pills.. IT WAS NOT YOUR FAULT.

Honestly I think you should take a huge step back from thinking about it and stay in the here and now, focus on your Son and RS, Find ways to safely get to see your grandparents, stay busy and muddle along like we are all doing with this plague...

All those questions about any abuse ? I really think you need to hold that back for when your able to see your T in person and process it that way. Right now your spinning your wheels and taking some extra meds to shut out all that excess worries.

Be kind to yourself