I'm starting to feel unwell, mentally. A bit unwell physically, as well, but that is likely linked to the mental.

I am so confused by my therapist. I'm starting to dislike the video meetings, immensely. I'm not even looking forward to the upcoming one with my psychiatrist, but I might need him now. He feels so extremely far away, and yet he is still in his office during those meetings. Literally just a long walk or short drive from me. If only I could step through the computer screen to that former dimension.

I feel the beast developing in my head, taking over me. It's an ugly mean beast. I know it and sometimes bob up above the water for breaths and mild pleas for help, but keep getting pulled under again. What's around me sometimes feels a little surreal. I need to break free. I need more mental clarity.

Yes. Something is suddenly not right. Not right. Not right. Not right. Not right. Not right. Not right. Not right.

Not right.

Is this psychological or a seizure? Have I been having many seizures lately? Some signs are there. I don't want to tell anyone about this suspicion. And I could be wrong.