I wanted to add something here. Of course these are challenging times and we have to be careful about what we do, and we should never at any time shoot ourselves in the foot.
However, I like to remember that the hormones that make us angry, the fight or flight hormones that our bodies developed centuries ago, are there for a reason, to protect us.
Each of us has a very different personality. It took me til later in life to learn to assert myself. I am still learning HOW to assert myself. I try to plan my approach out in advance. The difference between assertiveness and aggressiveness can pose some real challenges. Changing back and forth when you are dealing w different people is sometimes difficult. But I have truly found that sometimes there is just not time to act as diplomatic as a Secretary of State. Im glad I learned as a teacher in some highly challenged schools that in some situations you had better bark something out immediately or a kid could get hurt. So now I have that instinct to protect my ex, for whom I am medical advocate. They say that when you learn self defense or martial arts, the moves have to become instinctual or they are not effective. So thanks to those kids with questionable behavior who today prevent me from hesitating when I need to speak up fast or lose the chance to do so.