Hey all! I'm a new member and I joined because I have a few questions about some things about myself and I wanted to know if anybody knows if there's like...something wrong with me or something going on with me. It's a long topic because I dont really know where to start, but there's an overwhelming theme here: Memory problems.
** As a disclaimer, I was diagnosed with depression by my doctor but I think it was situational because at the time I was going through a really stressful life event (not traumatic) that made me feel pretty bad. I don't have any other psychological conditions, that I know of....
From the beginning: Ever since I was a little kid, I remember that I would go through these periods where I would.... feel like i was in a different world. I had a messy family life, with fighting and
(don't know if that's important). Anyhow, I have trouble recalling my childhood before the age of about 12 years, and I can only remember a handful of memories from before the age of 12 and those memories are foggy and feel like they were a dream. After the age of 12, I got a best friend and I can remember numerous memories of he and I having fun and being kids, and those memories arent foggy. But like i said before, I would have these periods of time where I would just... feel like I was in a different world. I knew where I was and who people were, and I knew who I was, but it felt different. Everything in the natural, physical world would go foggy and feel less important and I would have this extreme heightened sense of connectedness with nature, energy, and...other weird things. I'm just gonna say it - i would see things like angels and other weird looking beings of light, I'd hear conversations and things talking to me when nobody was around, and I'd hear other people's thoughts (I'm not joking, and I've actually asked people close to me if they were really thinking what I just heard and they would reluctantly tell me "yes" and look at me like "how the hell did you know that").
I still have these "other world" experiences, and they can last for weeks at a time. They do interfere with my productivity, such as school, because when I go into these "other world feeling experiences", if i try to focus on the things in the physical world, such as completing an assignment for school, I get a sharp and excruciating feeling in my head and I just can't do it. I feel as though, during these times, my body is geared toward and forcing me to acknowledge "other things".
I promise I'm not trying to sound like some science fiction enthusiast (not that there's a problem with being a science fiction enthusiast) - these are legitimately my experiences and it's concerning.
Now with all that background out of the way, on to the memory problems. Like I said I have trouble remembering my life before the age of about 12. But I've had some other weird memory problems that I can't understand:
1.) On numerous occasions, I have had people, from my past, message me thanking me for giving them advice on something that apparently changed their life for the better - but I cant remember ever giving them advice. I dont remember telling them the "amazing things" they say I told them, and although I'm happy if i made a difference, I dont remember doing it. Like I said this has happened numerous times, and after a couple of old friends talking to me and thanking me, I began to realize that something was off with my memory.
2.) A more recent development is that I will do things around the house, like I'll turn the stove off after being done cooking or I'll start the dish washer and NOT remember doing it. In other words, I accomplish things, and then I think to myself "oh I need to go do this" and then I go and realize that I already did it but I don't remember doing it. As an example, I was making chicken and fried rice one night and I went to go put the teriyaki on the chicken and turn off the heat for the rice and I realized I had already done those two things but I did not remember. It was so weird that I looked around, expecting to see somebody else who had accomplished these tasks, but only I was there.
I'd like to mention that I have posted an abbreviated version of this question on like.. I think it was yahoo or something. And somebody asked me if I had experienced waking up somewhere i didn't recognize or having memory lapses where I end up somewhere and dont know how i got there. I have never experienced anything like that, and in general, I am aware of my whereabouts and what I'm doing. But I don't know.... Its strange. I dont black out or anything, I just.... I'll sometimes feel like i'm in a trance-like state and I'm just moving along going about life and then I'll snap out of it.
Id also like to mention that I do not taking any medications besides Tylenol, occasionally for pain. I also do not use any recreational drugs and I dont drink.
Also, as far as my slipping into those "other world" experiences, I dont know what triggers it, and I have no control over snapping out of it. It just happens, and then goes away. And during those times I'm completely aware that I feel different and something is different, but I can't snap out of it.
Sooooo......That was long and I thank anybody who took the time to read it...
I'm just wondering, has anybody experienced anything like this? Or does anybody know if there's like...something wrong with me? It's been bothering me because it's weird.
Thanks guys,
Gekomyecho