Oh hang in there! I'm glad there was some movement towards a happier medium and it sounds like communication is getting better.
I think I've hit a new low in my marriage becoming an awkward roommate arrangement and I think my BPD stalker is hitting terminal velocity in his rush towards becoming a supernova. We've moved past the sobbing, screaming phase into the self harm, cutting himself, throwing himself on the floor and pounding it phase. Like seriously, pounding on the floor, screaming how terrible I am. I never thought I would see something like that in an adult, but it's right there on video. I feel the temptation to tell him to stop, but I know it's his manipulation. On the note of masturbation, I'm still horrified and amazed that he can be bawling like an infant and sexually aroused at the same time. When you thought you'd seen it all....
Hang in there and I feel you know the way forward.