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I am sorry you are hurting. I do not think you have anything unlovable about you...from your post I can see the PEOPLE in your life had/have some real issues, like toxic relationships and booze..THAT is why they left you...not because of you...
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The optimist sees the glass of water as half full, the pessimist sees the glass of water as half empty, the pragmatist drink the water because they are thirsty
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