Quote:
Originally Posted by Miguel'smom
YOu don't even meet this person for a month, right? My T has to put in a request but there's lots of times she has wanted me to go to crisis pdoc. By the time she "sees" me today I will have been up for well over 2 days. Plus I have to tell her things that I've been putting off for over month because I don't want serious conversations. We'll yet again have the medication talk .. I "see" my pdoc in 19 days for the last time. I feel fine.
I'm going to pull another all nighter if I can't finish part of my project before bed. I doubt that little pill will do **** to me right now. I'm against swallowing anything right now including meds. I ate today a piece of pizza. I pretty much swallowed it whole and ran away. I know I'm in weirdness but I feel fine. I don't know how long it will take to see the new pdoc I'm hoping over 2 months. So I can see my pdoc before changing. It really depends on how she takes what I say today and my bargaining skills how fast she has me see a pdoc. Other times she has offered appointment during appointments. However she has always respected that I like and trust my pdoc. Now I don't have that. I'm worried that it'll be first available pdoc. That they'll tell my husband "if she refuse to swallow this every day for the next X. Then just take her to the ER." Pdocs have done that to me more then once. I'm not a danger to anyone. I'd rather wait for my pdoc or one that will work with me.
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You seem manic MM. You've said several things lately that are out of character for you. You haven't slept. You're full of ideas and hyperfocused on projects. You're refusing meds and you are paranoid. You are planning to bargain your way out of treatment or withhold information again. You like the idea of self harm. You are not eating properly. None of these are good signs.
Seeing a crisis pdoc might be a good idea. Injections might be the right thing if you refuse pills. Please let T help and be honest today. You say over and over how you are not a danger to anyone. You are not thinking clearly or taking care of yourself properly. That is dangerous behavior for you. I'm not saying you need to be hospitalized. However, if you want to avoid that you need to be honest with yourself and realize you're having an episode and a med change could be a good thing. If you want to avoid the hospital you need to find a way to slow down.
