That's a good attitude. You can worry, but it may be much more fruitful to focus on an intent to create a scenario in which your desires can be honored in a way that you also get the help you need. Letting go and trusting sounds good to me, but as always you have to go with what you think works best for you.

It is ok to be scared. We all face fear. The question is whether or not you allow the fear to steer your choices. If you do, you will bargain and get less than what you need. If you can face the fear and accept it and force yourself to do what is in your best interest anyway, the outcome is more likely to serve you. It is also ok to admit to your providers you are afraid.

If it were me, I would say 'I am experiencing several symptoms of a mood swing and I haven't been taking my meds lately'

Your T might respond by asking you which symptoms you have. You can find lots of checklists online to compare your symptoms. Your T might take you through a list of her own.

You can use statements like these:

- I haven't slept in X hours
- I am not eating well
- I have a lot of ideas and I am very focused on projects and starting new projects
- I stopped taking my meds X number of times
- I am safe, and I will not self harm, but the idea of it is appealing
- I am fearful of H and possibly paranoid
- I want to spend more money. H is helping me not to overspend though

This way your T can see the symptoms and that you already have some strategies in place to help yourself. That may help your team see you're in less danger than if you had none of those support mechanisms. These are just examples, but its the kind of list that could be helpful. If your T gives you crap about reading from a list I would reply with 'this is how I can communicate right now and I need help. We can focus on my communication style when I am better.'