I am so so rry you are struggling, wildflowerchild. That said, please, please call your pdoc today!! Tuesday is way, way too far away for what you are dealing with. Please--make that call now!!

I would also turn all my meds over to that trustworthy person in the home. Just tell them what is going on. You need help right now. Trying to "look good" should not be on your list of things to do. Staying alive should.

I have been exactly where you are many times. Ending it all is not a solution. It doesn't make anything better. Take if from someone who has done it--repeatedly Please call your pdoc.

Love and hugs!! This will get better. Don't give up. Things will turn around. You just need a little help.