I have two questions to ask you after wishing you all the strength in these tough moments.

These two questions are related each other.
Are you scared to proposed your husband to talk straight away with him and tell him that you all have a problem, especially because of his attitude, so basically, do you think there’s a possibility that he listens to you and agree to go to therapy?
Were are moments when do you think this conversation is possible without you putting you at risk?
If this is possible it would be worthy a try if you want to go on in the relation.
If things get better and he accepts he has a problem, there are many possibilities that your daughter can also cure this wound she’s beginning to show up.

It’s clear he has problems. I don’t know if these problems even got worse after your daughter’s birth.
His attitude is very controlling, pretty perfectionist. It’s possible that he didn’t ever notice up to what point he’s being this way. That’s why I mention therapy. Someone else from the outside has to make him to see himself.

The second question, do you want a divorce and begin another life with your daughter? In that case, do you feel scare of telling him, do you think you maybe at risk?