Quote:
Originally Posted by bpcyclist
I am so so rry you are struggling, wildflowerchild. That said, please, please call your pdoc today!! Tuesday is way, way too far away for what you are dealing with. Please--make that call now!!
I would also turn all my meds over to that trustworthy person in the home. Just tell them what is going on. You need help right now. Trying to "look good" should not be on your list of things to do. Staying alive should.
I have been exactly where you are many times. Ending it all is not a solution. It doesn't make anything better. Take if from someone who has done it--repeatedly Please call your pdoc.
Love and hugs!! This will get better. Don't give up. Things will turn around. You just need a little help.
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Hello, I promise I would never intentionally kill myself. As I’ve mentioned, I do not have a guardian named for my son. I can’t leave his fate up to chance. And even if I did, I know losing both his mom AND his dad during his childhood would mist likely irreparably damage him.
Calling my pdoc is a useless endeavor as she is only in the office (or in her home office, as it were) on Monday and Tuesday, so I can’t get in any sooner anyway. I have a check in with my therapist tomorrow right after work, so she can take care of me. I should have told RS to take the dangerous meds with him to Work today but I didn’t. I was not honest with him last night. All I said was I am very unhappy. I did not mention self harm thoughts. He already had the dangerous meds in his drawer on his side of the room so I’m safe at least at night because he would wake up and catch me. I also can’t harm myself because he would see and I would be unable to explain.
I should be ok. I’m considering going back on haldol for a little while, even though I’m not paranoid or otherwise psychotic. Not sure if it would help with overall anxiety or irrational thoughts. I guess I’ll see what my pdoc thinks. Unfortunately she is less “take charge” and often just does what I suggest.
Thank you for the hugs and concern!