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Old Apr 24, 2020, 12:31 PM
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AzulOscuro AzulOscuro is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2014
Location: Spain ( the land of flowers and gladness, lol!)
Posts: 3,837
Quote:
Originally Posted by guy1111 View Post
I agree with everything you said. You are spot on. I try to keep the romance alive. She just left for work. I smiled and was cheerful, told her I loved her. Kissed her. Listened attentively to her stories as she was getting dressed. Told her she had beautiful eyes. Gave her a big hug right before she left. I know these are all things she needs because I listen to her. I make sure I am doing everything I can to make her feel secure in the relationship. Problem is, I don't get the same in return. I just want her to at least agree that her behavior hurts me and that she will work on it. But she denies, redirects, avoids, lashes out instead. I am tired of it. I don't want to be with her anymore. I want to get strong and move on!
Whatever it may happen in the future, from your posts in this threads, you are doing the best thing for you that is, working with a therapist to empower yourself and overcome your own issues. Of course, the ideal would be that your wife understood how you feel and instead of denied or distract, contributed with a a solution, complicity at these moments is very needed. She has needs but you also have your needs. You should feel listened in your own relationship. Maybe, she is not now ready or didn’t progress with her issues as much as you.

As I mention before you are taking the leads for yourself and who knows, maybe, she’s gonna realise of who she has at home with her . :-)

Sending you many strength.
__________________
Social Anxiety and Depression. Cluster C traits.
Trying to improve my English. My apologies for errors and mistakes in advance.

Mankind is complex: Make deserts blossom and lakes die. ( GIL SCOTT-HERSON)
Thanks for this!
guy1111, TunedOut