Sometimes without realizing it a person can be taught to SERVE others. As long as you serve that other persons needs you are good and may even get a tip now and then. But god forbid you fail to serve that person the way they need. Not only will that person be angry but they do not tip and they also proceed to tell anyone how awful YOU were because you failed to serve them the way they expect. This kind of individual tends to treat you as though your self esteem depends on how well you serve them. After all they are superior. They only see you in what you do to serve them. That’s the only time you get praise.

What contributed to my explaining this with you is how you shared all the things you stopped doing FOR her. And as you explain more of is what you do FOR her. This is why I think your pattern has been that of serving her as I have described.

Does this describe what you are trying to explain that leaves you feeling you do so much and still feel that emotional neglect?