I'm in a very similar situation with my partner. I was accused of being insecure and jealous, as he laughed it off.

Here is a portion of an email I sent him the other day in which I think you'll appreciate:


I've read most of this thread and don't think it's all about you. Yes, you have your insecurities and trauma that has nothing to do with her. She, as well, is adding to these feelings. She's totally gnawing at your insecurities with her own disrespectful behaviours because in those moments, all she's thinking about is herself.

My partner acts like a single guy, even when we're on an outing as a family (we have 2 toddlers). He will check-out other women even if they're with their partners.. even if he has to get past 'me' to get to 'them' (I'm 5'4" and petite, gawd).. even if they're not at all interested in his attention.. even if he's using me to get their attention.. and ALL he needs is a quick glance in his direction to feel validated.. and then he'll make some form of physical contact with me or asks me if "I'm ok"..

Anyway, I fully get you. No, it's not your problem. She does need to address this piece.