Before my time he was charged with a $50k theft due to a drug addiction. He went into rehab and got himself clean. Three years later we entered our relationship. He's been clean for nearly 10 years.

I knew about his history but believed it was all to do with his addiction he no longer was involved with.

He is still paying off this debt, monthly, throughout our relationship. With my encouragement and his need to seek my approval, he paid off his other debts (various neglected bills). He wasn't able to get a credit card at first because of his history. But at some point in our relationship, he was approved. I also lent him money for investments so he could get ahead. He's been paying me back, regularly, and for different reasons, for years. This was my way to get ahead as a family.

I see this as theft because he didn't discuss with me at all, particularly because of everything else. He has 3 credit cards maxed out, not just one. From what he says (and what I saw) a lot of it went towards trivial things.. a Subway sandwich, a Starbucks coffee, A&W.. etc. So he racks up a credit card like this and then opens another and another?

If he were more diligent and willing, he would have just kept the one at the $5000 limit it started with. I begged him to lower his limit.. even to $1000. He didn't.. instead he had it increased significantly, plus added more cards.

So to answer your question, I believed he was being financially responsible throughout our relationship. I couldn't force him to lower his limit but he did provide for the family, too. I just didn't realize doing so meant he was misusing his credit.