Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear
Hi
Maybe take one suggestion and run with it... or think of something yourself and run with it. Then it will not be true that ''everything'' anyone suggests has a ''yes but'' attached to it. What do you think?
People are less likely to get frustrated if you engage in a dialogue with them, and also take baby steps in a different direction instead of what maybe feels like spinning your wheels, with people trying to get you ''unstuck'' 
What do you think? 
Sometimes one small positive change can lead to more positive changes 
Is there one relationship with a friend you can work on to improve in some way. Reach out to someone else with kindness?
It sounds like the relationship with hubby is problematic  I think this is where a therapist could be particularly helpful. I have been working on my relationship with my hubby recently without a therapist (they are very few in this forest irl...) and have had some ''success''... however it can be frustrating sometimes.
It sounds like you have some very negative self talk, which is fed by criticism from others. 
And also feeling abandoned by a group of friends (that would be hurtful to everyone imo..)
Do you know who you are at your core? Or are you relying on others for feedback only? If you have no idea who you are, then moods and cognition etc will be shifted by other people when they do not ''deserve'' to have that power over you. Probably most other people are neutral. There will be some who like you and some who don't. Many will probably be neutral If you work on ''self love'' that will also be an ''achievement'' since you will then be able to offer love to others. Look up agape love.
I have spent quite a long time writing this. I hope you read it and get back to me some time. I do not have very much time to write here (as probably is true for many)
I think that in depth therapy would probably help you (as has probably been suggested by others, I haven't read all this thread). There seems to be an underlying sense of emptiness. Am I correct, or not? |
Hey Fuzzy!
So I've been giving this a lot of thought and probably overthinking a lot too if I'm honest. :P so hope it's helpful and makes sense and whatnot.
I "think" that I've tried this "take one suggestion...or "think of something yourself" approach, so I suppose I have to change my statement that not everything has a "yes but" But lol well, I guess I just get in these moods where I can't see anything positive or see all the success or accomplishments I've made...because...I dunno. like other people don't see it, so I feel like it's not important enough to remember or acknowledge. But I will say that I do agree one small positive change can lead to more. It's the only way I've made it this far. I was just having another bad day. :/
relationship i can improve? I don't know. Not to sound cocky, but i don't think so, because I tend to be the one to reach out first, so i feel like I've done my part. Know what I mean? If I haven't, I'd invite folks to let me know. But generally speaking, I feel I exhaust myself from overextending myself and getting nothing or little in return. Yeah, I did Google agape love though. I feel like I'm pretty loving and understanding. It's being misunderstood which I feel is the problem. :/
Like with that group of friends. I did nothing but care and they still rejected me. meh! ok, maybe I did do a little bit of passive aggressiveness with them. But they did it far worse than me. What makes it worse is that with some I didn't even realize they were doing that at the time. I thought they were being sincere and liked me, so I couldn't reject them when I probably should have or might have had I known better. Others were more obvious, but they weren't really friends. So is that who I am at my core?? Like, does the fact that I know what I need mean I know myself? I do rely a lot on my husband because if he's upset with me, life sucks. His bad mood travels to me, whether it be unintentionally or intentionally (like he has to be right about things or has to control everything that involves him. but sometimes he doesn't try to pull me in, I just do because I am naturally empathetic.) Sigh!
yeah, I don't have much time either. Kind of part of the reason I was taking a break from here because i was feeling obligated to make responses to folks and that often took me a lot of time.