I'm not a psychologist and know a fair bit about NDP. Your post does not scream NDP, to me at all, though. There's still quite a lot for me to learn here.
If you're having full blown attacks regarding abandonment issues, isn't that more related to Borderline Personality Disorder? And to be clear, I AM NOT LABELING YOU with BPD. I was just briefly reading about it for the first time, the other day, and it talked a lot about this piece.
I'm glad your friend was open and honest with how she felt and I'm also glad you are speaking with a professional about it.
Again, to my untrained eye, you do not at all sound like you have NDP.