That’s actually good that you shared the fear you are experiencing. In the example you gave it showed how your feelings were ignored and instead you had to eat the spinach anyway. Also another challenge with that tends to present as if you can’t just deal with that then you are weak and you are not a strong person.

It can be hard when you are constantly expected to think about the emotional needs of others and when it comes to your own there is very little genuine caring and comforting and respect. Instead it’s more about don’t feel and just deal and eat the spinach.

It sounds like your wife keeps sending you the same message of “you are not enough”. Even though you love her and let her know she is beautiful that’s not enough and she looks for that elsewhere. You are not enough to fill her ego. Yes that can hurt and you would like that hurt heard instead of ignored.