Finally slept, but spent maybe 2 hours before falling out ruminating like mad. Mostly about my dad and my ex. The ex thing is a bit understandable, as we are in a dispute. She is refusing to engage. I may have to take her to family court. She is a bit**, basically. Sorry, but it is true.

My dad, I have just come to the difficult realization that he, too, essentially abandoned me some time ago. Long story for another time, but, just examining facts, it is undeniable. Really changes my overall impression of him, which has always been as my hero. But heroes don't do what he has done, sadly.

So, had to keep bringing myself out of these negative loops, again and again. They are so hard wired.

Going to try to get out today. It is sunny and gorgeous. Maybe I will see a bunny or a bird.