Quote:
Originally Posted by Open Eyes
When someone suffers from emotional neglect the last thing that person wants to hear is “don’t feel comments”.
I have an extremely abusive and narcissistic older sister. Things she has done has genuinely traumatized me. The last thing I need is to have another person say to me is how a toxic person like my sister would not bother them. And that other person proceeds to go on and on about themselves without realizing that all that person is doing is undermining my trauma and hurt and deeply disturbed emotions. To make matters worse I have even experienced this same kind of presence even joke about it. All that does is only further undermine my hurt and often even can suggest I am actually stupid for ALLOWING such a toxic presence to hurt me.
What can be triggering about experiencing that kind of response is that it’s actually the same kind of mentality that caused the hurt in the first place.
I have a strong feeling that is part of the fear you have when you do try to share. This is especially true when a person struggles from ptsd resulting from emotional neglect and abuse.
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YES! How do you combat that? What do you say? If it's a big deal to you, it's a big deal period. You can't handle your sister, why would someone say, get over it. It's like, thats why I'm reaching out for help! Now that I think about it, our marriage counselor made me insist it is MY problem. Well, yes, if I am reacting badly it is, but if I am calm and just stating how her behavior hurts my feelings then I say NO!