Ok, I see your point. I am an al-anon person so I can understand acceptance. I might just have to separate body image from sexuality I suppose. I am pretty sure she is not physically cheating on me. The two are just so closely tied together for me, especially being a man. I am very much a visual person.

I get why some people don't care. Some people are more open. If I was married to a model or a porn star I would have to be ok with other men gawking. This is not her business though. She works in an office.

Like MsLady, it's like, the little flirty behavior in restaurants or parties, it's not blatant in your face cheating. It is however triggering. I just see some couples where the one partner behaves poorly and the other just rolls their eyes and says, that's just Joe. He does what he does. What is that!? Maybe if we both did things that we each had to tolerate. She hasn't expressed to me anything that I have responded by saying, oops, sorry, gosh, you know me! I'm just guy111 I do what I do. I'm not going to be like that. I excpect the same from my wife. I don't think that's asking too much. I literally tolerate everything else she does because that is the one area I struggle really hard with.

Thank you so much for validating my thought and feelings. I need to know that I'm not insane, that I am a good person. I deserve basic respect.