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Old Apr 27, 2020, 03:18 AM
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Thirty shades Thirty shades is offline
Grand Magnate
 
Member Since: Jul 2018
Location: UK
Posts: 4,816
Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzzybear View Post


I can feel the pain in this post dear little turtle..

My experience was different but in some ways similar...

That after 65 years of her life, my mother was still not my friend. I had wanted her to be my friend..

She did not like me. She said she loved me She told ''everyone'' what a ''bad person'' I was, including a cruel, sociopathic ''boyfriend/landlord'' - who threw me out also. It was part of his script, his pattern. He was very cruel, very bitter, not ''even attractive'' :-( He was ''not without intelligence''.. which he used against me

She rejected me... a mother rejecting her only daughter. Her only biological child. I am not sure what sort of love that is.

Papa bear and I, my husband, are very different, there is love, and we like each other.

I am grateful I did not marry one of the (several) abusive young or not so young men I had engaged with before meeting Papa bear. The ''pattern of dysfunction'' could have continued had I been less ''fortunate'' and married the abuser I was engaged to for over a year. (or one of the other abusers... including that horrible horrible ''landlord''... But in his mind, he was Far Superior to me... I was, in his mind, so far beneath him that he came to our house to abuse me with words soon after I married Papa bear :-( Why :-( I can only imagine... jealousy partly, he was nearly 10 years older than I was, maybe he knew deep down he would not .... ''ever'' ... find anyone as ''good'' as me (or maybe anyone ''good enough for him at all''... grrrrrrr. Sorry about the grr

hugs and love to you dear little turtle and to all on the As Is bus

Thank you for sharing this with us all on the bus dear Fuzzybear.

I wish I had, had your courage when choosing/rejecting a husband.
I guess for me the true colours only shone out, once I was fully trapped.

Looking back there were big clues but I was young and even younger emotionally back then.

I am free now but carry the damage.

My life has been a ongoing saga of collecting abuse.
Mainly professionals these days.

Sending hugs and respect to you
Hugs from:
Fuzzybear, giddykitty, little turtle, MimiBhaduri0, Rohag
Thanks for this!
Fuzzybear, little turtle