Im struggling with the same . I am soul searching . but I have a fear of edges .when I look over and there is a long drop down I get horrible feeling frim my head to my toes . and I have always thought and said " I dont know where that came from I dont remember falling anytime . But I do remember one brief memory of falling into a septic at my Godmothers house and all I remember is sitting in my moms truck looking down at the shirt I had on and covered in feces . Now a part of me wants , needs to know what happened ? How far did I fall ? How long was I down there ? And most importantly how was I treated ? I was probably 8 or 9 .I dont remember .But I know it was Traumatic I still feel it in my body ..If I could recall everything traumatic that happened to me I could heal . Im not afraid of feelings now It happened and I survived !!! But for the Grace of God . sincerely .