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Old Apr 27, 2020, 09:23 AM
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Open Eyes Open Eyes is offline
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Member Since: Mar 2011
Location: Northeast USA
Posts: 23,289
Quote:
Originally Posted by guy1111 View Post
YES! How do you combat that? What do you say? If it's a big deal to you, it's a big deal period. You can't handle your sister, why would someone say, get over it. It's like, thats why I'm reaching out for help! Now that I think about it, our marriage counselor made me insist it is MY problem. Well, yes, if I am reacting badly it is, but if I am calm and just stating how her behavior hurts my feelings then I say NO!
First of all a marriage counselor typically doesn’t specialize in trauma therapy. IMHO if someone struggles with ptsd their spouse should learn to how to be considerate of that. Ptsd is a challenging condition a person puts a lot of effort into managing.

Second, flirting with other men in front of your husband is bad manners and disrespectful. It’s inappropriate behavior period. It’s not unreasonable that your wife engaging that way bothers you.

It’s one thing if your wife is attractive and other men notice her and tell her she is attractive. But when a woman starts to pursue that attention on a regular basis she becomes a tease and most spouses don’t like that behavior.

The reason this behavior is offensive is because it typically sends a message of not being satisfied and content with ones spouse. Both males and females tend to dislike when their spouses engage this way.

For someone who struggles with ptsd from emotional neglect and abuse this behavior can most definitely be triggering. It’s inappropriate behavior to begin with and is not relationship friendly respectful behavior.
Thanks for this!
guy1111