I went panic shopping again. I mean I did need American cheese and iced tea (though I don’t suppose iced tea is necessary). But I wasn’t going to go because I was so depressed, but I read something somewhere, I think maybe it came up in one of the Reddit subs? Anyway I read something and looked it up for confirmation and there were multiple articles confirming it. Panic. Ran to grocery store, stocked up on things I hadn’t already stocked up on. I’ve been panic buying at least every two weeks, if not every week. Usually I only need one or two fresh things but I end up spending $200+ grabbing things like I may never get to leave the house again. I’ve got tons of tomato sauce, canned veggies, pasta, rice, dehydrated potatoes, sauces....when we go I let my son buy snack food too so he has his favorite snacks in case we really can’t leave the house.

Today the anxiety is much worse than the depression. Yesterday the depression was. I go back and forth from coronavirus anxiety to a vague trauma induced depression. I am using all my coping skills. I’m going to start seeing my therapist weekly again, maybe even biweekly. I see pdoc tomorrow. If all else fails I have looked up the IOP program I usually attend and they are running groups virtually. So I have a safety net I guess.

Just trying to ride this out.