I am glad you don't feel you have some type of a defect. You don't have a defect.

The things anyone else says/writes about you in a negative and/or a judgmental manner ... is their very own issue. Not yours.
I understand you are hurt and are sad and angry and are probably experiencing many more feelings.
These feelings must feel a bit overwhelming?

Do you ever journal about your feelings?

How do you cope with your feelings?

Love ya!