I feel embarrassed because I know my thread could awake sympathy and it may seem that I’m looking for people’s reassurance, kind of approval.
It’s not. Or at least, I’m not doing consciously.
Of course, I appreciate when a user tells me that my posts are valid or they like them but my intention here was sort of complain about how hard I find most of the times, to do something other people find so natural.
When I was active as a teacher, in the teachers meetings I saw myself as an alien if I had to take the word, which I seldom dared to. It didn’t matter how valid it was my idea.The fear, the anxiety I felt was enough to project what I didn’t want to project. I ended up saying the arguments bad, incomplete or with a lack of conviction tone, because I was more worried about my performance.
I hate it. I know it’s not the right walk. I know I should laugh at myself and be an alley of my social anxiety if I want to progress.