My experience is very similar to Divine's. I had a fiance some years ago with whom my telling him that space is necessary for me to love went very well. He was accepting of it and I had the latitude to be able to tell him when I needed it without him becoming upset. That was probably the best arrangement for my needs as his accepting it without drama made the times that I needed space shorter. Unfortunately, that relationship didn't work out, but for other reasons.

My husband is in the middle. Sometimes, it works out, sometimes it doesn't, depending on his mood swings. I'll say that honesty is often an issue in the marriage as he loves to kill the messenger. On a seemingly semi random schedule, my letting him know that I need space will be met with scorn and derision. Since it's hard to be honest without being scolded, I frequently deflect and just hide out, leaving him guessing as to why I'm cold and irritable. He's the kind of guy that I will just shut up when he is driving us off of a cliff.

On the far end of the spectrum is my BPD stalker for whom 24/7 enmeshment is a positive thing. Every day around this guy was like being a bug in a blender. His display of emotion was overwhelming for me as was his demand for my time and attention. He was also hypersexual and demanded sex at every meeting in spite of the fact that I'm married. We had been friends for six months before this behavior manifested itself and I warned him repeatedly that I'm emotionally blunted and need a lot of space. His display of emotion and demands for time, attention, sex and extreme exclusivity were so distasteful that I burned out quickly. He would lose his cookies if I even spoke with or worked out with another guy. Every request I made for space was met with increasing emotional neediness along with increasingly violent outbursts and self harm. I then took a passive-aggressive road, provoking him by talking to as many guys as I could in front of him and calling him regressive and medieval. I also said that he had no game and that he was trying to date so far out of his league that I may as well be on Venus. I finally had to just stop seeing and responding to the gazillions of texts, etc that he sent per hour.

So, the most understanding person had me return and be affectionate the quickest and the least understanding person had me leave and break contact.

My mistake was that I didn't see how they would react prior to my being involved or being a friend. So, when my husband and my stalker began to react the way that they did, I was surprised.

I hope that answers your question.