Quote:
Originally Posted by Crook32
Do you ever wonder what is reality? The sick you or the healthy you? Do you ever feel like you are making up your illness and it is not real. Like you are watching someone else’s life. I am probably not describing it right but I feel like a lot of bad stuff has happened because of my illness so it has to be real why would I make it up. Why would I cry when I am alone and no one if there to witness it. I guess in a way I am trying to do a reality check. Why would I make up something that has caused me so much pain and trouble but at the same time it seems so surreal. I hope this at least some what makes sense.
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I find that it helps not to look at things in such a binary fashion, or to cling so tight to notions of truth. One part, or facet of who you are is unwell. The idea that you are faking it is a very familiar one to me, but if you imagine having a broken leg, that is real. That your other leg is fine does not negate the illness. Same with you brain. The problem is that the illness you have distorts reality by its nature, include the reality of itself. Do NOT think too much about that, it will get dangerously recursive.
tl/dr don't be hard on yourself, yes it's real, maybe go see your pdoc.