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Old Apr 29, 2020, 09:57 AM
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KD1980 KD1980 is offline
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Member Since: Nov 2018
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 368
Quote:
Originally Posted by alwaysworrying View Post
you have every right to. but imo that will only create more tension and conflict in yourself because those are your roots so you attach yourself with them in some way. the way i see it is that those people are very close minded and sold to their culture. i don't hate them but i don't support their acts either.

my parents also used to beat me up whenever i do something bad when i was a child. i used to fear them really hard but that isn't the reason why i dislike them now. when i was a child they were both working outside. so they would drop me on their neighbors house where i was bullied and sexually assaulted a lot of time by the neighbors family. they made me feel inferior and destroyed my self esteem that i struggle with till today. i was so full of fears that i didn't know what to do. after spending 4 years at that area we eventually moved away really far. since they were working and when they come home my father just watches the tv and my mom cooks. i was neglected by them big time. they never talk to me or spend time with me. and when i do something bad they would beat me up.

fast forward after years of mental struggle from past experiences i searched the internet for some help and i found it. i think i would never have this solid mental state if i were to not get it outside of my culture. and i do feel for everyone out there in my culture who are struggling like i did but don't know what to do.

we have a little sister that i'm trying to take care of her and not let her suffer like i did. when i talked to my mom why aren't you taking care of her and spending time with her, she told me that she should know better!. i couldn't believe how my mom is that ignorant. how can she expect the child to know what to do? i don't want my little sister to grow up in their culture and mentality which i'm trying to get her out of.

just remembering those old days where i was neglected and abused and how it affected my mentality going onward makes me want to commit suicide and hope that can reset my life to a better one where i could not have suffered or made other people suffer with me. but i realized that the only thing i can do is help other people to not experience what i did and help other people who already suffered to have a better life far away than the one they've experienced earlier.

i'm sorry if i was too vulgar in what i've said. i do feel you and you have every right to, but i think the only thing we can do is try to change that culture or atleast not let our future children be raised in one.
I suppose I don't feel much tension or conflict about this. I understand why you would see it that way. It feels like a relief to admit these feelings out loud.

I'm really sorry your parents treated you so badly. I'm proud of you for protecting your sister and doing the right thing. You should be proud of yourself too.

Where I am, a local organization has started up to help women and children from my culture escape abusive situations, but it's going to take a lot more time to change things.
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Gaba94