I was wondering what, over time, has triggered your mixed episodes, or are they not related to outside triggers?

I was thinking of making a post, wondering if I am in a mixed episode. It is not normal for me to experience this much anger.....

I have tried to stay away from everything linked to ******** for some time now... with mixed results, overall not good results. If this world does not ''respect my boundary'' that I do not want to be constantly bombarded by ''the news''.. then I wonder what I am even doing in this world. I feel rage.

I am not experiencing paranoia. But I am experiencing a lot of rage.


and some


Papa bear keeps updated on ''the news'', I am very fortunate. I do not ''need to know'' the updates. Maybe I am unreasonable in wanting a safe space where ''the news'' does not constantly intrude on me. Even before this ''situation'' I avoided ''the news'' since it consistently made me sad and angry. I do not expect anyone to understand me. I do however deserve respect as does everyone. If I consulted a treatment provider, which I have no intention of doing, they would likely say ''how are you coping with ********'' and then prescribe medication. With no more discussion. Since that has been their pattern over... years. They fire one question at me, make an assumption and prescribe medication. It's all over in less than five minutes.

I am ''safe''... feel free to ignore this rant. Since none of the providers irl want to listen to anything I have to say and they also fail to respect me, I appreciate having this space to be able to express some of my grrrrr.

I might phone a ''warmline'' if there even is such a thing in this prehistoric forest, if I do not feel any better in an hour or so. And if the person on the other end of the phone spouts patronising, triggering ******** at me I will put the phone down. Having expressed my opinion of them

I have a good friend who I first got to know online, years ago. She agrees with me that being able to use words can be therapeutic. She has been consulting her therapist for around 12 years, who she finds very helpful. I have not heard of anyone in this forest irl who has had a good therapist for that length of time (oh, possibly one person who was hostile towards me..... not anyone here) I am very much in touch with reality and I do not imagine hostility when it is not there. Or if I do (very rarely) I am able to reality check. So maybe I don't need a therapist. I think maybe I am saner than some of the therapists in this forest irl. I think I mentioned before that a GP did not refer me to therapy and gave the reason of them not being ''normal'' like she said I was She said ''none of my patients have been helped by therapy''... I did not believe her.

I read a post about


Respect and hugs to all