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Originally Posted by MatBell I’m sorry to hear you don’t have as supportive parents. My mom calls every day because she’s seen the state I’m recently in, so she’s worried. We’ve had period of times where we didn’t see each other or talk for more than a year. So it’s nice to have them now. It’s a big upheaval for sure. I still don’t like to think too much about it. I wake up all mornings seeing no future for me and just feeling like a complete failure in life. It’s like I go into panic mode the minute I wake up and the anxiety kicks in. It’s really awful. I hope the new meds work well too. How are you doing Mopey?

Hi Mat, glad you're hanging in there. I can totally relate about the anxiety in the morning because when I wake up I have a few seconds of peace and then the "monkey mind" starts, thought upon thought, all of them worrisome, all of them increasing. For a long time I've been working with a technique of visualizing all those excess thoughts as being pushed down a garbage shute very forcefully, and trying to focus as best I can on one thing: which is whatever thing I have to do next. Sometimes it kind of almost works.

My parents are both deceased now of course, but the thing with them was, we never properly bonded. As far as they were concerned they had sacrificed everything for me and did nothing but worry about me, so they totally could not understand why I wasn't doing better, and the idea that my relationship with them might be partially responsible was brushed away with anger and outrage. They blamed me for whatever happened, and that was that.

My best to you as always.

((((( HUGS )))))