And I can’t stop bringing it up.

There’s the trauma of the intimacy issue and the yo yo history around that.

There’s the trauma of our son’s wedding issue. (At least we are making some contact at this point with him)

There’s the trauma from the family fallout which ended up with my sister being nasty, cold, and blowing me off. It’s been a year and a half. She really doesn’t care at all, and it’s shocking. I thought we had a great relationship before.

That’s all that really still bothers me. I accept that my niece, who caused the drama, was a flake who never knew me or cared about me anyway. I accept my mother is what she is and maintain a minimal relationship. I accept that my lifelong friend was just a selfish, nasty user and it hurts that she wouldn’t even call me to apologize but she obviously doesn’t care to have lost me.

My other sister and I made up because we both made the effort and she was mad at me because my niece must have told her some lie about me, and I had done nothing wrong.

I know I don’t look good to keep bringing up these hurts, but I’m traumatized and can’t get over it. The EMDR therapist didn’t help. Now I’m on meds, and they’re really not helping.

I just have to try harder to shut my mouth.