Maybe your wife never got help for this challenge. That in itself can end up being a burden and create ongoing problems in a relationship and not just for you but your children and even other relationships.

At least if she gets help she can learn her own part in your relationship challenges instead of walking away from you constantly hissing. In turn it takes some pressure off of you so you can keep working on your own challenges.

I know for myself that one of the ongoing challenges I have dealt with is how my husband has not gotten help for his bad adhd challenges and that has been a constant burden on me. I end up getting blamed for the problem all being me and the ptsd and that in itself can be very triggering. At times I end up being a scape goat when I really don’t deserve it.

My husband had a problem with alcohol as many with adhd develop to self medicate while he has been sober for 28 years he can still practice denials and blame me when he needs to understand how his adhd can be a problem so he doesn’t blame me when he has the problem. I do get tired of always having to understand everyone else and others don’t learn how their intrusive behaviors can do affect others. With his challenge there is a spectrum and he is high on the spectrum. It’s very hard to live with a person who is so loud and intrusive while struggling with ptsd. I can very much relate to your strong desire to have your feelings heard.

We often think that a person is abusing us or is bad and often it’s not as intentional as it appears. Adhd and dyslexia and autism and aspergers are nothing new. What is new is how we are gaining on understanding these challenges. Not everything always boils down to intentional disrespect and abuse.

My older sister is an entirely different challenge. She takes too much pleasure in hurting and in reading an article this morning about narcissistic and sociopathic behavior I do remember her observing me and trying to copy how I am empathetic and she tends to play the role yet her goal is control and getting whatever she can for herself. It’s as though she is the opposite of me and hates my ability to empathize just as the article describes. The degree of just how dark she can go is shocking and frightful. It’s so hard to wrap my mind around how a person enjoys causing hurt. That it brings that individual a sense of superiority is incredible.

I have described how terrible she can be and often unless a person witnesses it they don’t believe me. This kind of individual literally enjoys shattering another’s self esteem. I do suffer from ptsd but also narcissistic abuse syndrome and complicated grief disorder. Yup a real piece of work. I know a lot cause I have experienced a lot. I have spent a lot of time learning about a lot of whys behind behaviors.

I definitely feel it’s important to understand the whys behind behaviors. Even my own behaviors have reasons I have been slowly understanding.