Heather, thank you. It seems everyone here is very kind.

I really felt alone through all of this. I have friends in the area, but like most midlife women... we all have our share of problems. One is underground breast cancer treatment, another lost her huband to a plane crash and she underwent kidney surgery, stuff like that. I have no other family in the area except my kids... and I really feel lost still. I don't know if I'll ever get better.

I noticed the depression kicking in about 2-3 years ago. I was on Paxil which I couldn't tolerate... it was hell for me to wean myself off of. Serafem caused allergic reactions for some strange reason for me. Celexa helped, but it's so expensive and my budget is really limited.

I thought that I was getting better... but I've hit a serious fallback. I can't get anything done with the house, and foreclosure is immiment I think. I lose a lot of money in this deal... actual cash sitting in the bank which hurts because my ex conveniently quit his job so he wouldn't have to pay CS, and I cut a deal with him for no spousal support anyway. I may have to end up paying the bank off for a difference between value and loan.

I don't know how to get through this. I have never been this alone or lonely in my life. I came from a close knit family and my own family and my marriage were pretty good for a long time. Never perfect, but we always seemed to be able to get through things together. And now here I am...

Enough of the pity party I suppose. I had a lot of losses and major life chaanges this past two years. I just wish I could kick this overwhelming sense of failure and rejection.