My condolences to you. I have lost several people in the last few years, myself. I completely understand.

The hardest part of loss is usually what comes after: getting used to the sudden change. You can't gradually get used to it, and you don't know what to do while trying to adapt; then the grief comes in phases and waves - not just after the loss, but randomly throughout the years that follow.

Once you've adapted to the change, you still don't like it, because they are still not here. But in many ways, they are. They are still with you, in heart and memory, traveling the world with you on your adventures. Every time you think of someone you love who has passed, you are sharing the experience of that moment, that place, with that person - you've brought them with you.

Loving someone should not depend on whether or not they are there. You can love a person without them ever knowing it, and you can love someone after they have passed. And the important thing is: you love them, and they knew it.

What you do out of love for them should drive you during this time. If you focus on creating hobbies that focus on the positive memories between you, then you are not focusing on their absence, but instead on the love that still remains.