I can't express how badly I don't want to go back to inpatient. I am still suffering from PTSD from my 1st time over 5 years ago. My wife knows this, but she keeps trying to push me to go back to inpatient. Due to some recent and really bad screw ups on my part I'm worried that it is going to come down to either my marriage or inpatient. It's not as simple as saying Screw her. If it comes to that I'll choose divorce. She is the love of my life. I don't want to lose her, but i don't want to go back to that horrible place again. Also it's not as simple as saying If she loves you she won't force you to go. Like I said I screwed up real bad.
I just don't know what to do. Both options terrify me. Both options make my mind goto suicide.