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Originally Posted by AzulOscuro
The extreme for me is when someone who needs to socialise or putting his things out there rushes into you without knowing you and in this first conversation they tell you what was and goes on their lives.
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Desperation and clingy needy nature is a huge red flag for me, I usually run away from such people.
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I guess they must be feel alone, or maybe they are very extrovert or even it’s possible that my politeness gives them the impression that I’m interested at hearing a whole monologue about them
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Yes running away is the best solution imo. Especially considering how personal such pl tend to get sometimes.
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My impression is that small talk is something only “necessary” as a minor evil to give chance to deeper or funnier conversations. In my case, I don’t find it only boring but I lack of skills to force myself to do it because of my social anxiety.
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Every small talk is different but what Im usually looking for is to see how one reacts to simple metaphors which I tend to use a lot sometimes. And to my kind of humor as well.
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Finally, in regards to how having a more objective opinion or share the same view about a particular matter with someone, without implying that you share with them a whole political corpus, and how you are quickly classified as belonging to a particular type or group of people as soon as you open your mouth to express an opinion, I think it has to be with our gems even. We have so far a need to share with a group of people the same ideas, customs, tradition, ideas... not only as opposed to another group but as a way to feel accepted within your own group. So, everything it would be better for your survival.
We are attached to our convictions, cultural traditions, our prejudices because it’s what we have and having to change them, fills us with fear because maybe, we are not gonna be accepted by our social group so, our survival will depend on it.
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For me its a part of the annoying 'making assumptions' part of the conversation. Another red flag tbh. "Does your mind keep creating its own
truths by any projective mechanism? Do these "truths" that you have created influence the course of the conversation in a way that annoys me and prevents an openminded conversation? Again, in that case I easily run away.