It’s very concerning that your wife is suddenly saying she doesn’t feel connected to you and she is choosing to allow this clearly abusive presence in to talk to her this way. This man is clearly playing her and it’s a game to him. Your wife should get professional help for this so she understands she is allowing herself to be manipulated. He knows how to push her buttons as all abusers do. In fact they actually take pride in that.

Your gut is right this is unhealthy. Abusers use something people care about to get what they want from others. In this case this man is using the child to get to her. And its almost like she is using the child to get to him. Abusers and deceptive people can lay quiet for a while and reinvent themselves only to be even more deceptive under their new mask.

The one I feel really bad for is the child.