I just want this suffering to end. Why am I suddenly thinking about suicide every damn day. I can't get myself to go to the ER. I don't know why. I can come up with a million reasons not to go and only one to go. If I can't fall asleep maybe I'll call a crisis line or something. I know what to do, just don't want to do it. All I can think about is sharp objects meeting my body, but I guess I'll watch a movie and see if that'll distract me. I'm about to scream.