I suspect my mother and sister have NDP.

I tried committing suicide when I was 16 and that wasn't enough to make a dent in my mother's behaviour towards me. It just brought her shame and embarrassment.. how "dare I"? It was never discussed then nor for the next 30 years.. ever.. from ANYONE.

I agonized over her bitterness, lack of empathy and support, her disinterest in my life.. communication was horrible.. all the typical traits.. you get it.

When I was approaching 40, I finally had the 'A-Ha' moment when I realized about NDP. Whether I was right or wrong, this thinking saved me. I was able to understand her better and not internalize her behaviours. I stopped wondering why she "hated" me or never "loved" me.. etc. I started keeping low contact with her which escalated her behaviours against me.. but I needed peace of mind.

Now I mostly feel ok about her. I don't live with her so it's easier, and I mostly communicate with her via emails.

I know she had a hard life. I've wondered if her mother had NDP, as well, so it gives me a bit of empathy and understanding towards her.

I think what's hardest for me is feeling like I'm surrounded by people with NDP. They all have very similar toxic personalities.. my partner, an ex friend, a neighbour. I know that's common when being raised by a parent with this disorder but it definitely makes me think maybe I'm the problem. What are the odds, here?