@justneedtotalk76, what would help you the most right now? Yo've gotten some opinions on your wife needing to create better boundaries with the ex. In the meantime, you two are growing apart somewhat, or there's now a distance between you because of the ex abusive monster. A couple of us had suggested approaching your wife to ask the reason why she feels disconnected from you. Is that a good place for you to start? What other kind of help and advice are you hoping to receive from the thread?