Hopelessly behind on these posts. Been quite symptomatic, obviously. Just had pdoc. I am about to go to pharmacy and pick up Trilafon? Whatever that is. He says I need full dopamine something or other blockade, or something like that. Sometimes Abilify can actually make psychosis worse, he said. Long story I do not really grasp. Something about agonist/antagonist?

He says he does not believe I am refractory yet. That there are several thing to try, still. So, that made me feel better. Looks like the Provigil is probably history. We will have to go with something else once the psychosis is under control.

That is it from here. Made myself leave the house yesterday for first time in over a week. So paranoid. Did 52 miles. Took forever. But it was good for me. Saw some cute dogs and bunnies and pretty azaleas, which made me happy. I know I am still capable of feeling good, somewhere inside me. Maybe try to go for a quick ride today, since I have to leave to get that med.

Hope everyone is doing okay.

Love and hugs!!!