We subconsciously gravitate towards “familiar”. Familiar is usually what we grow up with. Even if it’s bad, people would gravitate towards it.

There is a way to break a pattern of going for familiar. That requires some work. Sometimes professional help.

And it sure requires awareness and desire to take action.

Yes step one is recognize familiar pattern, do some analysis, but then step two: don’t go for it. Even if familiar feels good in the beginning, it will kick your butt later. It’s not easy to take action, it’s work, but the positive outcome is breaking the cycle not only for yourself but for future generations if you decide to have children. Create a new healthier “familiar” for your children if you choose to have them

You understand why you are attracted to this person. He is like your family of origin. It’s familiar to you.

But you aren’t obligated to stick around.

That’s how you break this cycle. Recognize subconscious attraction but then you can say “no” to it. He might not be a bad person, just not right for you.