If you have no intentions to leave, then maybe the only way to manage it is just to accept the reality. He might not be able to give you what you want. We can’t always provide what others want.

Well when I said deal breakers I meant something more complex than lack of attraction. I assume you wouldn’t even date someone if you aren’t attracted.

You can still have a career or just a job. After pandemics. Never too late. It would get you out of the house and would force you to stop thinking about your husband. Even if you had perfect marriage, if you spend too much time thinking about it you will find something undesirable. Or maybe if you work all day you’d be too tired and overwhelmed physically and mentally to desire what is that he isn’t giving you. Therapist I used to see told me that too much idle time is bad for emotional health. I tend to agree

If you do have BPD, it is definitely creating additional challenge and it might be just it.. But you said you don’t have it