If you have no intentions to leave, then maybe the only way to manage it is just to accept the reality. He might not be able to give you what you want. We can’t always provide what others want.

Well when I said deal breakers I meant something more complex than lack of attraction. I assume you wouldn’t even date someone if you aren’t attracted.
I did! I went on a lot of dates. I gave the guys a chance to see if I liked their personalities and maybe the attraction would grow.

You can still have a career or just a job.
I do have a career where I can work or not. If I can get my act together it is something I can do, but I will have to do with him. He retired and wants to be with me all the time. When we are getting along, that’s great with me. He could be an asset to my job. Praying I can get it together.After pandemics. Never too late. It would get you out of the house and would force you to stop thinking about your husband. Even if you had perfect marriage, if you spend too much time thinking about it you will find something undesirable. Or maybe if you work all day you’d be too tired and overwhelmed physically and mentally to desire what is that he isn’t giving you. Therapist I used to see told me that too much idle time is bad for emotional health. I tend to agree You are right about that. I have had too much time on my hands. But that still won’t solve the bedroom issue. I’ll just have to retrain my thinking and maybe the meds will start to help more with the anxiety and depression.

If you do have BPD, it is definitely creating additional challenge and it might be just it.. But you said you don’t have it