I have not had "drinks" more than 3 in a single day for 6 years. This quarantee has been getting to me. I tried to describe things to my doc about anxiety, and muscoskeletal pain. Because of this quarantee I have not seen my chiropractor and my doc things my pain is from not being adjusted. I have anxiety at times, and complete boredom. In the last week I have had urges to take pills. and or drink. I went to alcohol last week. I had only one drink per night for 4 nights, then 2 nights taking 1 drink and then a night drinking 2, today I am drinking one bigger drink and have 2 more. I daydream of smoking pot, and have not done that since I was in my 30's. I feel somewhat ashamed as i have also been grieving my childhood in therapy and my T had told me last week no drinking or self harm. I can't help it. I am so damn bored and lonely. I have 2 kids. 19 and 12 but 12 year old is with his dad over weekends. I want something for the muscoskeletonal pain but not sure my doc is willing to do considering I asked for Ativan and she basically said no.