That explains why she was with such an abusive man in the first place. That’s what she knew, what’s familiar to her. And she had no female presence to let her know a lot of the toxic behaviors she experienced was wrong and how to handle these toxic behaviors. It’s very possible she doesn’t see her ex’s behaviors as terrible as you see them.

That is similar how certain accepted even demeaning practices towards women are not recognized as bad in certain cultures compared to how others view it.