Thanks Wild Coyote

Re a suggestion re consulting a treatment provider for meds. I've found that benzos are the only med that helps me with sleep, aside from seroquel which I became allergic to when the doctor increased the dose to 200 mg XR (I think that is what she prescribed, it was a few years ago)

I think you mentioned lamictal. I've been allergic to many of the psych meds prescribed, I haven't taken a med in that class though I don't think (I read somewhere that some people get a severe rash from lamictal)... for now I think I can stay safe and in fact safer, without consulting a profesional irl. Consulting a professional irl causes me severe distress and anxiety since I have been traumatised by several of them The last doctor I spoke to (over a year ago) hinted strongly at stopping my benzos, and said ''we would talk to you first''..... she did not say she was open to negotiation re what my needs are. She definitely did not say that she or any of the other doctors were willing to listen deeply to my experiences and what my needs are re meds and ''treatment''/support. However, she was a better listener, in general, than ''most'' of the other doctors I have consulted irl, over years. I have not been back....